If you have been shopping at Target this week, then you know the prepping is real. The search for new outfits and needed supplies pointing to a looming reality: school is back. While jitters and nervousness are to be expected, there are things that can help moderate the stress and anxiety for kids heading back to the classroom.
Prepare yourself: While it’s the kiddos that are facing new classrooms, teachers and even friends, what is happening at home really sets the tone for them. If you are in denial about summer ending, you can bet that the transition will be harder. If you have overprepared and exude nervous energy, kids perceive that maybe there is something to be afraid of.
Nervous energy about what your child might face works best channeled into choices and tasks that help everyone to be ready. Recognizing the power of routines, you can embrace the upcoming reality in a way that will help everyone. Discussing and implementing the new bedtimes, practicing with personal alarms—the rehearsal will be real before you know it. Lax boundaries on phones at night? This is the time to have those conversations and set new limits. Sleep and structure will be everyone’s new best friend.
Let them be nervous: So often we don’t realize that children’s negative emotions create a sense of helplessness or incompetency in us. It is not a failure for anyone if you child is nervous about new things. Best of all when they share this with you directly. This is your opportunity to validate what they are experiencing. By admitting it IS difficult to start a new year without former best friend we actually help them feel heard. Trying to fix or help them look at the bright side is often our first response, which none of us really appreciates when we are having the feels.
Believe it will be okay. The ability to respond to children’s nerves is to realize that whatever comes, difficult or amazing, there will be opportunity for learning and growth. Bullies last year? Challenge the automatic assumption that your child is destined to remain a target. Poor academic support? Recognize your need to advocate and do the things, but don’t assume each year will be a repeat from before. Vigilance and advocacy means you believe your child may need some support, not that they will be miserable. There is a difference between struggling and failing. It is valuable to persist as real life rarely spares us from challenges.
Connect with your school. For yourself and your child, touring the school and meeting support staff can ensure you know what resources are available. Your child will appreciate being able to visualize the school and you will appreciate knowing the name of the school counselor. Building a relationship with your school can often be a one way street; look for how you can volunteer or be involved, even on a limited basis. This connection will help you feel confident if you need feedback or support from staff at a later date.
Seeking additional support: While transitional times will bring up behaviors and emotions for children and youth, things should seem to stabilize. If separation anxiety, mood or behaviors continue, recognize this as a sign your child may need some additional support. Seek input from the school, often they can connect with your child at times during the day that might be difficult. Insist on checking in regularly with your child and even seeking support from a counselor or psychologist if needed.
Here’s to a great year for everyone—new opportunity and fresh starts just on the other side of August.
