Trying to figure out motivation is a big task, partly because it is so specific to the individual. And there are times when context plays a big role. The pandemic may impact us in slightly different ways, and it was also a major event that stopped normal life and created an unchosen pause. Most of us felt the impact in big and little things that were suddenly out of our control.
One of the ways we motivate ourselves is something called self-efficacy, or the belief that we can successfully accomplish a specific task or reach a specific goal. It is more than the belief that we know enough, self-efficacy is also believing that we are capable of overcoming challenges that might come up in the process. This inner belief system affects our choices, our effort and the perseverance needed to stick to a task. It also has something to do with how we bounce back from failure.
So where do we get this sense of our capability to do things that are challenging? While some of this comes from the encouragement and modeling of people in our life (verbal persuasion and seeing others overcome), a large portion is having opportunity to try things just outside our comfort zone. When we do not have opportunity to try and fail, or try and succeed, we lose an opportunity to trust ourselves and our resourcefulness.
Creating opportunity to try things that are slightly uncomfortable is a great way to build self-efficacy. Aiming for new experiences, sampling activities or accepting new responsibilities are going to be a challenge by definition. Recognizing that opportunities come paired with possible failure or even stress reminds us that we are not inadequate, we are beginners. We will always be beginners at something.
Another important factor in self-efficacy is power of emotional experiences. Hopelessness is very different than helplessness. Studies find that students that feel hopeless gain incredible self-efficacy if they are given specific guidance by a teacher. Sometimes persisting in the face of a lack of confidence teaches us the power we do have in our lives. In the journey towards our initial goal, we can find reward in the persistence, resourcefulness and determination it reveals. Feeling helpless will stop you in your tracks. It is a learned response to being unsure where to apply effort or having experienced a lack of control in your life.
Enter the pandemic. Enter other major life events. Enter a lack of opportunity. Let’s explore some ways to rebuild self-efficacy and unlearn acting “helpless”.
Remember that everyone has fears, failures and self-doubts. Having these things does not reflect on an inner brokenness. Find people in your life who have come through challenging times and let them tell you their story. We are all stronger when we share the human ability to fight through difficulty. It may look and feel much different than we hoped, but we can be inspired and encouraged when we recognize we are not alone.
Focus on continued effort and celebrate this rather than the ultimate goal. Often times we give up because the finish line doesn’t seem any closer. It is always closer. Recognizing the daily effort and celebrating this is important. Feeling stuck? Contribute at least one small effort and watch that snowball into encouragement, improved strategy, etc.
Know that intelligence and talent are not permanent characteristics. You don’t just have them, you build them. Anyone can take incremental steps towards knowing more, being more skilled and even developing strategies about how to use effort more efficiently.
Feeling stuck means looking for an alternate route, it doesn’t mean game over. Important to growth-mindset is trusting that challenges are part of re-directing our effort in a new way. Pause, re-evaluate and look for a new route.
Another key is taking risks that are “comfort-zone-adjacent”. If we overshoot and try to jump too far ahead, we will feel discouraged by the lack of success. A learning zone is “I can do this with a little help”. If we are continually in frustration, we are building evidence that we “can’t do this”. Pick something that feels within reach even if you might need to slow down or get support. Choosing things that we know absolutely nothing about says we may be trying to skip the mild discomfort now to attempt a long-shot victory.
Avoid comparisons (especially online). Last, but not least, don’t buy into the idea that other people who appear motivated and successful just wake up ready. Most things in life that are worthwhile take effort. Social media can convince us that big things fall out of the sky, if we were just the right person. Question those victories, become a little cynical that everyone else is doing the things. Your effort is valid even if your goal is still in the future; success is contributing daily to your future-self.
