While professional counseling is shown to help with both daily stresses and transitions as well as more serious mental health symptoms, some things can help you get more out of therapy. Being an experienced therapist is important, but learning how you can contribute empowers greater change.
- Start with a good fit. Counseling is based on a relationship that will take some time to build. However, you should feel fairly quickly that your therapist can help you grow and that you are safe to be open and honest. If something feels uncomfortable, ask yourself if you could bring your concern to them directly. If not, it may be that you do not feel comfortable being vulnerable or have confidence in asking for change. You may try a new counselor and see if a different style or personality helps you feel more supported.
- Be consistent. There are times when we need greater support and times when we may be able to take a break from counseling. If you are in a season of growth or hurt, commit to being regular. While growth is organic, committing to working on something consistently is important in starting the change process. Once you see change or are feeling better, feel free to discuss with your therapist what it would look like to come less often or take a break.
- Be honest. Counseling can challenge us to open up about things that we really don’t want to think about. This is not to pressure you or have you dwell on things, it is actually a healing process to reveal, release and express the entirety of your story. You do not owe your therapist details, you owe yourself. The risks of talking about difficult things should be lower in therapy, this is the place to practice vulnerability and honesty.
- Practice doing something different. Whether in the actual session or between sessions, trying new things is a fabulous experiment in growing and healing. You may be surprised at the size of the change and how difficult even little things might be. Openness to trying something is not about your counselor being right, it’s about experimenting to find positive change in your own life. If something doesn’t seem helpful, that is a great follow-up conversation to have with your therapist.
- Communicate concerns. Your counselor will want to hear about any concerns or requests you have for counseling. This can be difficult but is a good sign of the working relationship when you feel you can assert your needs.
- Mark your growth. It could be journaling, it might even be checking in on how your tangible life goals are going. Make sure you remember why you are going to counseling. That can change over time, but you should feel that you have an idea of how counseling is helping or how it benefits you. Many people find that just having the space to be open and focused on their own needs is enormously helpful and brings healing. Others feel empowered, and see themselves showing up differently in relationships or coping with emotions better. Take note and celebrate when you see change. Tucking this away as encouragement when life brings new challenges can help you feel deflated or discouraged.
Overall, your confidence and understanding of the counseling process should grow over time. While some challenges with relationships or trauma take time to heal and may be difficult to confront, counseling should be encouraging as well as challenging. Here’s to each of you looking for change and a hopeful future.
