You might be surprised, but there are a lot of us that just don’t want to talk about COVID. What is there to talk about, you ask? Can we just be done with that? As a trauma therapist I am always curious around topics that remain untouched or things that a person has difficulty talking about. The reality is, we have all endured a collective trauma and are individually and collectively trying to move on. When we choose to stop talking about something, we might still be acting out of the emotions surrounding that thing. If you are wondering why you are still not back to your “old-self” it could be the residue of the pandemic is still clinging to you.
Here are key areas of human experience and need that were disrupted by the COVID pandemic. The more aware we are of these needs the more we are able to heal and grow.
#1) We are tired of assessing what is “safe”.
The human need to be safe, recognize threats and feel protected is important. But so is getting to relaxation and calm. Such a high level of constant “threat” has us worn out and we are seeking to just be okay and stop the madness. We might find it hard to engage with risky situations, or the opposite, refuse to assess risk and find ourselves doing things with little thought of the consequences. Watch for signs of numbing or an increase in risky behaviors.
#2) We are ready to pursue our goals! (if we could just figure out what they are).
Our need for achievement, pursuing dreams and goals, very much got sidelined in the rush to assess safety and figure out basic everyday life. You might wonder why you lack enthusiasm or even impulse- control. These are skills connected to reaching goals. Being stuck for so long changes our drive, our sense of achievement and even a sense of what true pleasure is.
#3) Connecting with others is complicated.
A third, central human need for connection was also put on hold. Interacting with others builds our self-worth, teaches us empathy and compassion—something we see missing in the constant headlines about angry and rude “people”. It seems impossible to escape the extreme opinions and emotions—about everything! Truth is, we are all a little trampled and may find ourselves surprised by our own anger and lack of tolerance.
If any of this rings true for you, it may be helpful to spend time talking with a trusted friend or counselor about how you might need greater safety, satisfaction or connection in your life. Most of all, being aware and patient with ourselves we become aware of how the circle of “us” is healing and recovering from the lost years of COVID.
