A friend reminded me the other day of how humans are powerful, meaning-making beings. Even if you avoid holidays saturated with pop culture or merchandizing, they mark the ebb and flow of the year and many of the unspoken expectations around us. Pretty often, people find stress or even difficult emotions rather than relaxation and celebration.
How can holidays create opportunities for reflection, connection and inspiration rather than stress?
A good place to start is to let go of the illusion and desire for a “perfect” memory or holiday. Without realizing it we chase a feeling, putting unneeded pressure on ourselves and everyone around us. Take time to center on the “why” of the activity and its true value. Learn to recognize the beauty of a moment showing up differently than you expected or planned.
Get picky about your holiday indulgences, aka what you eat, drink and how you spend your money and time. Celebrating with healthy eating, rest, exercise and smart spending honors your true needs for recovery and nourishment that might be put off during a normal work week.
Saying “no” to a non-stop list of events is also part of that. Perhaps leave special time for a tradition that has meaning, protecting that each year. If you enjoy trying new things, select one to focus on and leave the rest for another time. In being selective we can experience more deeply. Don’t worry about what you are missing out on; focus on what is in front of you.
Perhaps one of the most important holiday tasks is finding connection. For those who are single, have experienced divorce or loss, that can seem easier said than done. Recognize the choices to connect with others is healing even if it does not cure or remove the sense of sadness around the holiday. Find people who allow you to be yourself so that you can brave creating new memories in a way that feels safe and real.
The holidays can also be a good time to seek professional support. If its feeling generally overwhelmed by the holidays or needing a space to talk about how difficult holidays feel, reaching out for support during this time can be crucial.
While the holidays carry different meaning for all of us, it is a time where our humanness and human needs connect us all. You may find that volunteering to serve dinner at a local community shelter resonates more than organizing a dinner with people you don’t connect with. Be intentional in your investments and open to the love that will find you this holiday season. There really isn’t anything better than that, right?
