Seeking mental health support can be a bit of a rollercoaster. The push and pull of feeling something is wrong, wanting to have an answer and also being afraid that something actually is. It could seem that seeking a diagnosis might even become a self-fulfilling prophecy when it comes to anxiety. Great news, there are differences between currently experiencing anxiety and expecting to have a lifelong struggle.
As a counselor I find that talking about expectations and outcomes with a diagnosis are just as important as knowing your symptoms. In the back of our mind, we still view mental health challenges as something within us that is “broken”. Although stigma is much improved, there is a natural human desire to understand what something means in the context of their life story. Essentially the question is how much better can I feel and will it last?
While more people than ever are struggling with anxiety in the United States, nearly 20% of the population meet criteria for an anxiety disorder, anxiety can take many shapes and forms and each of those might act a little differently. Some anxiety is more common for children, other types more commonly do not show up until later in life. Individuals risk factors are also significant in understanding their potential to manage or re-experience future episodes.
Even more important than genetics and statistics, certain mindsets and attitudes about anxiety can be critical to changing recovery. While these may take time to adopt, understand or even digest, these principles are key to reducing chronic anxiety.
Principal #1: Assume stress is temporary and act accordingly
Worry is the common experience of thinking about a problem and feeling stress around that issue. Happens to everyone. That’s right. Having thoughts of worry come into your mind is an expected part of life. It does not indicate that you are not handling stress or that you have too much on your plate. Stress can definitely become toxic and worry can turn into anxiety, but feeling pressure, overwhelm and questions about the future or your capability are guaranteed.
When we begin to believe the worry is a sign of failing, the pressure means we are vulnerable or that worry deserves our greatest level of attention and energy—this is when worry can begin to feed into anxiety. The more we take negative data, like thoughts, body experiences and emotions, to tell us we are “not okay” our ability to read real danger becomes skewed. This is where everything can begin to feel urgent.
Principle #2: Treat Stress as A Health Issue
While many stressors are really not permanent, the physical symptoms of stress are our warning signals to run maintenance. Is your exercise routine in place? Forget that long-term desire to run a half-marathon, are you walking 30 minutes several times a week? Are you getting outside? Sure everyone has financial stress, but when it wears us down and becomes toxic is when we don’t bolster our body and our spirit with supports. Are you connected to a community? Do you have positive things to look forward to? These are protective factors that add cushion for even the biggest hits. Work on building them into your life. These are tangible things you can do to combat anxiety; thinking more is not on this list.
#4 Understand the Power of Action
If you feel worry bogging down your thoughts, making it hard to concentrate or even feeling like a weight, shift the burden to activity. Thinking is important, but it is not always as therapeutic and productive as we think. Inability to shut off thoughts might be evidence that’s exactly what you need to do. Shift into “doing”. Just one thing. Once that is done, do the next thing. It doesn’t have to be right, it isn’t perfect, and it doesn’t solve everything. Movement becomes momentum.
#3 Find Space and Time for “not caring”
This is not procrastination. This is the opposite. Get serious about boundaries, schedules and routines. This is not about perfectionism or finding a “perfect” schedule. This is recognizing that if you know it is a busy time at work, you need to get serious about where your workday ends. If it is a season of chaos, look at the calendar and build in islands of relief or understand what you need to weather this time. It’s easy for stress to build into anxiety when we believe that we can’t build boundaries in our lives, it just “has” to be this way. Small changes can sometimes show up like miracles. Giving permission to stop thinking about something when it is over, leaving worry to be scheduled during your “work day”, refusing to multi-task and do mental work while you are at the gym—we can’t care all day, all the time and have any life-energy left. This puts our mind, our body, at deficit. “Caring” is often ineffective mental space where we ruminate and roll things over hoping that new solutions or ideas will emerge. Strangely, creativity requires rest, curiosity, humor, perspective—things that are not found in the intense focus of a problem-solving brain.
If you believe you are anxiety-prone or recognize signs of chronic stress, taking a serious look at the way you manage brain-space and the power you attribute to “thinking about” things is really important. For some these shifts may come with a little practice, for others they may need the support of a professional to help build new habits and responses to stress and worry. Here’s to a little anxiety-prevention in all our lives.
